Forget Me Not
by Amina Bella
Summary: Olivia was getting on with her life since Elliot had left. But, something happens that leads her to find him, causing a whirlwind of heartbreak all over again.
1. Chapter 1

Olivia sat at her desk, bottom lip buried in between her teeth, eyes wide and distant staring at the computer screen in front of her. If you didn't know Olivia, you'd think she was just concentrating on the screen before her, but Nick Amaro had learned Olivia quickly since being her new partner. That distant, not-all-there-look meant she was in deep thought and only could he notice the small frown that was slowly drooping the corners of her lips.

He knew she wasn't all there, because she would have caught him staring at her and would have said something by now. This was almost a daily routine for them. She'd get lost in her head and he'd stare at her until she came back.

After a few moments Nick cleared his throat causing Olivia to finally blink and what looked like finally made her breathe.

"You okay?" He slouched over his desk, his arms folded in front of him, concern written in his features.

She let her lip go with a noise, blinked a couple of times, offered a very, very obvious fake smile and replied, "Yeah, I'm good."

"Liv, you know if you need to talk to someone-about anything, you know I'm here, right? I'm not Elliot, I know, but..."

Olivia stopped listening after she heard his name.

_Elliot._

He was the reason for these black out moments during the day when she should be working on her DD5's, but Elliot's stupid face keeps swirling around her head and she can never concentrate.

She's almost forgotten his voice, his smile...

"Liv, you listenin' to me?"

"Hm? Yeah."

"What'd I just say?"

She blinked a few more times. "That you're always a shoulder to lean on."

He smiled warmly at her. "Just lettin' you know."

She smiled back before pushing back her seat and standing up. "Gunna go get a coffee, want anything?" She slipped her coat on before pushing in her chair and rounding her desk heading towards the exit.

Before Nick had a chance to answer her, she was gone.

* * *

><p>Once outside, she brisked down the sidewalk before turning into an alley. Checking to make sure the coast was clear, she reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a cigarette. She lit it quickly and took a drag while letting her head fall back against the brick wall behind her.<p>

Olivia had never been a smoker. She wasn't even a drinker, she only did that socially. But smoking was something she delved into during the early stages of Elliot's departure. It seemed to be the only thing to stop her from fidgeting and stressing. She took another drag, closed her eyes and exhaled it slowly.

"You know, they say that every cigarette you smoke takes off five minutes from your life,"

Olivia popped her head up and looked into the direction of the familiar voice.

"Kathy?" Olivia's chest tightened, shock and fear surging through her bones.

"What...what're you doing here? What's wrong?"

_"Where's Elliot?"_ Is what she intended to say but she couldn't make her mind form the words and force her mouth to voice them.

Kathy sighed and walked up to her. She handed Olivia a manila folder and bit the inside of her cheek.

"Elliot left, Olivia. He left the day of the shooting. He came home in a frenzy that night, said he needed to go away for a while, that he needed to think and clear his head. He packed a back, kissed the kids goodbye and left. Haven't seen him since."

Olivia was having trouble processing everything. She took a really long drag off her cigarette and pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and middle finger.

"He wanted to call you, Liv. I saw him with his phone before he left, he kept dialing a number and hanging up before it could even ring. I knew he was trying to get a hold of you, but something was stopping him."

When Olivia removed her hand from her face, Kathy saw the tears in her eyes.

"What's this then?" Olivia asked referring to the manila file that Kathy had handed her. She flicked her cigarette down the alley and opened the folder up.

Kathy remained silent, wanting Olivia to see for herself.

"Divorce papers?"

Kathy nodded. "Got them a few weeks ago."

"Why are you showing this to me?"

"Because, Olivia, I needed you to know you weren't the only one he left wounded. I'm actually sort of glad he didn't call you before he took off. The terror in his voice, Liv...it was frightening. He didn't sound like himself. He sounded like a scared little boy. "

Olivia could tell Kathy was holding back tears, and frankly, so was she.

"I'm here if you need me, Olivia. I know it's been almost a year, but it hurts just the same, you know?"

Olivia nodded and before she even really knew what she was doing, she opened her arms and welcomed Kathy into a tight embrace.

Kathy returned the hug. "I never hated you. I knew that you and Elliot had a work relationship, after spending so many days and hours with someone, you get attached and you develop a different kind of love towards that person. I completely understand."

Olivia pulled away with tears falling freely down her face. She didn't even really know why she was crying. She hadn't cried over him since the day Don told her he put his papers in. She got it all out of her system, and went on with her life. If he didn't need her, she sure as hell didn't need him. She figured the tears were coming from the comfort she felt with Kathy right now. And maybe, deep down, she missed Elliot more than she led on-more than she knew.

* * *

><p>WELL OKAY. So, this story is...going to be out there, I'm just letting you know, I mean assuming you guys even want me to continue.<p>

This is not a Kathy/Olivia story, don't even go there, LOL. I just really like Kathy and I get annoyed when people make her seem like she's a beast or something.

This is basically an Olivia based story for right now, with the SVU gang and Elliot, of course, and obviously Kathy. AND SOMEONE ELSE. :O (No, not David.)

Anyway, this story won't be that long, maybe a few chapters. You know, if you want me to continue or not. **-le hint-** ;)

PS) Transgression will be updated soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**WARNING: **You will probably hate me by the end of this chapter.

**WARNING #2:** I have severe insomnia, so I go days without sleeping, and during my deprivation days, I think all of my stories are amazing, and so this is how this story came about. This chapter, along with the first, was written when I hadn't slept in 3 days. I finally got some sleep and re-read both chapters and laughed. I have no idea what I thought I was doing, and I have no idea where this story will go. I guess I'll continue writing it when I don't sleep? lol. Anyway, since this was already written and IDK what to do with it, I'll just upload it. Haha.

* * *

><p>Olivia tried to compose herself as she walked back into the bullpen. She shook her hands, rolled her head from shoulder to shoulder, let out a deep breath and casually walked in as if nothing happened, as if her ex-partner's ex-wife didn't just come out of nowhere and lay a huge bomb in her hands.<p>

As she strolled by Nick to sit down at her desk, he gave her a questioning look but dismissed the words he wanted to say-no use in fighting with her, Olivia always seemed to win anyway. So, he went back to his computer as did Olivia.

As she typed up the rest of her DD5, she mercifully bit the skin off her lips, her mind in such a cluster that she wasn't even aware that she was shredding them.

Who did he think he was? How could he just up and leave his entire family, work and literal, and not say one word to anyone? How could he just run away and mail divorce papers to his wife like it was no big deal? How could he leave his _children_ behind?

Olivia could feel her nostrils flare as she thought about him, she could feel her face becoming warm and her leg wouldn't stop bouncing up in down. She ran her hands through her hair and not being able to sit still any longer, stood up, grabbed her coat and took off.

Nick smirked. "'Nother coffee break?"

"Shut up, Amaro."

As she walked outside to where she had previously been that day, she reached into her coat pocket and brought out her cell phone. She dialed a number and waited.

"Kathy? Hey, it's Olivia. Listen, when Elliot mailed the divorce papers, did he put a return address or anything indicating where he might be?"

She listened for a moment before rolling her eyes. "Okay, so he used a P.O box so no one can track him." She shook her head in annoyance. "What mail office did he use, does it say?"

She listened again, hearing Kathy shuffle through the papers before speaking.

"Brooklyn? Wow, okay. Thanks." Before Kathy could even ask what Olivia was up to, she had hung up and was storming her way back inside.

She breezed by Nick and the rest of the gang and walked into Captain Cragen's office, and closed the door behind her.

Amanda, Nick, Fin and Munch all made eye contact with each other, hoping one of them knew what was going on, they all shrugged.

"Olivia, what can I do for you?" Don asked from his desk.

She sat down in the seat parallel from his desk. "I was wondering if I could have the rest of the day off. It's a slow day today, and all I have to do is finish my DD5 from the Morrison case, but I can finish that tomorrow. I'm not feeling well and my mind is reeling and honestly, I just want to go home and try to sleep." It all came out in one breath.

Don stared at her a moment before nodding his head. "Yeah, sure, take it easy, Liv." He smiled at her and she returned the gesture before leaving his office and once again, heading out of the Police Station.

Olivia pulled her keys out from her pocket and got into the car. It was only 2 PM, and if she hurried she could make it to Brooklyn and find that mail office before the mail came. Assuming Elliot checked his mail daily, if she could find where he sent the papers to Kathy, she might actually be able to find him.

Brooklyn, from Manhattan, was about an hour away and with the traffic not being so bad and Olivia's lead foot, she made it there in 45 minutes.

She wasn't too familiar with Brooklyn, but thanks to her handy-dandy GPS system, she managed to find the post office and parked a good distance away from the entrance.

She killed the engine and sat back taking in her surroundings. Her eyes darted from person to person as they entered and left the building.

It had been about a year since she'd seen Elliot. She figured nothing about him had changed, but whose to say he didn't grow his hair out and get a beard? She couldn't help but laugh at the image of Elliot with long, flowing hair down to his shoulders and a ZZ Top beard...

About an hour passed and she didn't take her eyes off of the building in front of her. She had seen the mail lady enter and exit, but no Elliot. No sign of him made her think that he was one of those people that only checked their mail every Friday instead of every day, and just as that thought left her mind, she saw him.

A spark of excitement surged through her and for a split second she wanted to jump out of the car and skip over to him and wrap her arms around him and tell him how much she's missed him, and then she remembered why she was there and that bit of excitement died and rage took it's place and she wanted to jump out of the car swinging a baseball bat and knock his head off.

Instead of doing either, she slowly got out of the car, locked it and waited for him to exit the building. As he did, she mixed herself into a crowd of people and kept her distance behind him, following him to what she hoped was his apartment. After about a block or so, Elliot ran up the stairs to a beat up looking apartment building. Olivia did the same, making sure to stay far enough back that he couldn't see her, but close enough so that she didn't lose sight of him.

They hiked a few more stairs to the 3rd floor before Elliot rounded the corner and opened the first door on the right.

As he disappeared inside, Olivia stood in the stairwell trying to gather the courage to knock on the door and tell him off like she desperately wanted to

A years worth of anger and pain was pent up inside of her and if she didn't get to yell it directly into his face, to make him realize how much pain he's caused her and his family, she was sure it would drive her crazy, or more crazy than it already had.

Heart racing, hands shaking and her head reeling, she walked to the door where she saw Elliot enter, raised her shaking hand, made a fist and knocked 3 times.

About 10 seconds later, the door opened but it wasn't Elliot. For a second, she thought she had the wrong apartment, but then she recognized the face that was confusedly staring at her.

"Can I help you?" Asked the woman.

And then it hit Olivia. Blonde wavy hair braided to one side of her head, big brownish-yellow eyes, that accent...

Flashbacks of Olivia being back from Oregon, inside Cragen's office, seeing that woman at her desk, seeing Elliot lightly touch her back while laughing swirled through her mind.

"Dani, who is it?" It was Elliot's voice.

_Dani. Dani Beck._

"I'm...not sure," Danni called back. And before Olivia could turn and quickly run away like she really, really wanted to, she saw Elliot step in front of the door frame. His eyes widened and he took an obvious, shocked deep breath.

"Olivia? What are you doing here?

Upon hearing her name, Dani realized who it was and backed away from the door, letting Elliot step closer.

Trying to keep her voice level and calm she spoke softly, "I came to talk to you."


	3. Chapter 3

_"Can I help you?" Asked the woman._

_And then it hit Olivia. Blonde wavy hair braided to one side of her head, big brownish-yellow eyes, that accent..._

_Flashbacks of Olivia being back from Oregon, inside Cragen's office, seeing that woman at her desk, seeing Elliot lightly touch her back while laughing swirled through her mind._

_"Dani, who is it?" It was Elliot's voice._

_Dani. Dani Beck._

_"I'm...not sure," Danni called back. And before Olivia could turn and quickly run away like she really, really wanted to, she saw Elliot step in front of the door frame. His eyes widened and he took an obvious, shocked deep breath._

_"Olivia? What are you doing here?_

_Upon hearing her name, Dani realized who it was and backed away from the door, letting Elliot step closer._

_Trying to keep her voice level and calm she spoke softly, "I came to talk to you."_

* * *

><p>Elliot nodded his head as he crossed over the threshold, closing the door behind him. He stood there awkwardly studying Olivia's face. He could see her mind working in over drive; the many things she wanted to say to him, and the thousands of things she wanted to ask him.<p>

Olivia licked her lips and took a deep breath.

"Why didn't you call me?" It came out in a sigh, her voice cracking a little bit.

"Liv-"

"No, Elliot. Tell me why you didn't call me? I could've helped you! I would've done anything I could have to help you , Elliot. But instead you just up and leave your wife and kids? And _me_? Did you forget that I was there, too? I might not have shot a teenage girl, but Sister Peg died in my arms, Elliot! We could've been there for eachother. That's what partners do. That's what _friends_ do!"

She stopped talking to bite her lips to attempt to hold back the sob that was forming deep in her chest.

Elliot cautiously stepped closer to her, grabbing her wrist. He looked at her with tears in his eyes.

"Olivia, listen to me,"

She huffed an angry laugh as tears spilled over the bottom of her lids.

"What?"

"I...I tried to call you, okay? I tried to let you be the one to console me and tell me everything was going to be okay, because you're the one person who's done that for the past twelve years. And then I felt guilty. Because the first person I should've wanted to turned to was my wife, but instead, I wanted _you_. I wanted _you_ to be there for me, I wanted _you_ to hug me and tell me everything was going to be alright. And then I just...I felt so guilty, for everything, and it was all overwhelming, and I didn't know what to do, Liv, so I left." Tears were running down his lightly stubbled cheeks, the grip on her wrist had tightened as if he never was going to let go.

She pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth, her eyes roaming his face.

"It was all overwhelming so you just..." she laughed bitterly. "... ran into the arms of Dani Beck? You left everything and everyone for _her_?"

She yanked her arm out of his grip.

"It's not what you think!" Elliot's voice cracked, all emotion coming forth as he tried to convince her. "I swear to you, Liv, I can explain everything, just give me a chance here!"

"You had six months to get a chance. A simple "Hey, I'm still alive" text would've done some good. I'll be sure to tell your wife and kids how you're doing. The divorce papers will be signed and turned in soon. Have a good life, Elliot."

"Liv, wait!"

"It's Olivia to you," She cried over her shoulder as she walked away.

* * *

><p>Extremely short chapter, I know. I've had no motivation to write what-so-ever. I'm trying to get back into it.<p>

Possibly one more chapter left, maybe two, it depends...


End file.
